Inappropriate and Inspring

Fever dream, between light and dark.

Warm breathe. Heaven and Hell.

Never wake, take not this passion.

Daylight breaks or so I imagine.

I know amazing people.
Therefore, I am amazing by association.

I need no other talent than knowing great people.
I think I am successful at that.

When I die, may my headstone read “Successful, Inspiring and Beautiful…
by association.”

And if my glorious friends have passed before me,
may there be citations that lead to the places where their bodies lie.

I shouldn’t have called him.
“I’m doing the best I can.”
His pleas pain my soul.
I know you are, but that’s why it hurts.

I shouldn’t have called him.
“I love you so much.”
I can’t respond. Dead air between us two.
That you try and fail is heartbreaking.

I shouldn’t have called him.
“I just want you to be happy.”
Until this call, I thought I was…
Until his words, I thought I was whole.

I shouldn’t have called him.
“You can’t do it alone.”
Do I explain my life to someone who knows nothing of my life!?
I can’t do it alone, but can I do it without you?

I started without expectations, but somehow I expect more. A lot more.
“I’m doing the best I can.”
You mean you don’t have the means to help.
I hear you don’t have the ability to be successful at this.

I shouldn’t have called.
“I love you so much. I’m glad you called.”
I love you too.
But I regret this call.